Creeper New Yorker Couldn’t Ruin The World’s Most Fun Restaurant/Adult Theme Park

If you don’t make the time to go to Andres Carne de Res while in Bogota then you missed out on hands down the best experience one could ever have at a restaurant.  This restaurant has it all, amazing food, drink, and lots of dancing.  It is one of the higher end steakhouses in the city, probably comparable to Ruth’s Chris in price but the atmosphere at Andres Carne de Res demolishes any competition. 

No stuffy, pretentiously tame quietness exists at this restaurant.  Loud raucous Salsa music blares at full blast, with random influxes of American artists, most popular among the crowd Michael Jackson, Pitbull, and Jennifer Lopez.  The ample size of their drinks allows morals to be left at the door and the party to be felt by all.   No one sits around at Andres Carne de Res, the whole restaurant is lively and dancing in between food and drinks.   

Andres Carne de Res is famous for its wild eclectic decorations as well as the inability for its guests to not immediately let loose and dance the night away until closing.   “Andres Carne de Res isn’t a restaurant, bar, nor a dance hall, it’s a deluded journey into insanity.” – Restaurants Website.  I can best describe it as an adult theme park. 

The restaurant boasts four themed floors, the top being Heaven.  Heaven (cielo) is a quiet place for families with children to preserve their innocence.  The third floor is Purgatory (purgatorio), for those still capable of redemption.  Below is Earth (tierra) where diners are laid to rest before the party begins.  Lastly, Hell (infierno), where hips shake, bodies’ twist in hedonistic rhythm and where the real party takes flight.

As in theme park fashion dressed up characters frequent the 4 different levels of the restaurant, from Goddesses in random gowns to Minotaur’s that grab any willing female who wants to Salsa.   We took a tour of all the separate floors before we sat down to dinner, which took about 10 minutes to see everything.  Once seated the wait staff comes to the table with a pad-locked bag where you can put all your stuff, which only you have the key to so you can leave your table whenever you want to take over the dance floor.

Energy exuding from every booth, chair and barstool fuels the restaurant with musicians serenading birthday parties, or just our table of foreigners.  The menu is so extensive at this place it would take you at least 20 minutes to read the whole thing so we just left it up to Damien to order for us as he lives in Bogota and frequents this restaurant often.   

We got to the restaurant around 7:30 but were unable to be seated till around 8:45.  So we had an appetizer and finished one bottle of Tequila in preparation for the night ahead.  At this point there were six of us, more would meet up with our group later to partake in the awesomeness that is Andres Carne de Res.  While we waited to be seated we danced, watched the shows and just took in the ambiance. 

After we were seated we ordered our third bottle of tequila, everyone was having fun and then Damien ordered 2 plates for all of us to share.  The plates were originally meant for 1 person but there was so much food it was good for the 6 of us.  One of the bands came over to us and gave us sashes to wear and started blasting music encouraging us to salsa and stand in our seats and dance.  Every booth has a table name with a heart with wings and a title in the middle, ours was “Bluyiniada” which Damien explained to us mean to “dry hump” in Colombian Slang ahhaha.  So our table was the dry hump table.

When not eating or drinking we were dancing all night.  It was so much fun.  Then Damien’s GF had some of her friends meet up with us and the party got even better.  Clariss a 6-foot New Zealander or KIWI who stays at my hostel helped provide for the funniest/ only drama of my trip.   Creeper New Yorker wouldn’t stop hitting on her and he couldn’t take a hint.  Even after explaining to him she had a bf, he was the most persistent person I had ever seen.  At one point the now group of about 9 were dancing in a circle and put her in the middle so he couldn’t get to her and he still didn’t get it.  He kept trying to come in at a different angle from the circle to dance with her.  Then he tried to hit on Damien’s GF with the lamest line of “you look like Ms. Colombia” because of the sashes the restaurant hands out to people.  That’s when Damien got heated and things escalated then we all had to step in.   Security finally came and sent the guy away.  I don’t understand how the guy couldn’t take a hint, but oh well it provided lots of good laughs.  Night ended well, with a “hangover cart” directly outside the club, which serves Colombian soup, empanadas and really good hotdogs.